Captivating
by Polymoly
Summary: AU, Roxine: Taking a step to the past, can she forget what was once her present and move on?


_Read and Review guys. Written in Namine's POV. Enjoy!_

_**Inspired by**__ the song _Hide by **RED**.

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Kingdom Hearts nor the lyrics to the song.  
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_**Captivating**

_BlueNobody_

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_I will run and hide till memories fade away  
And I will leave behind a love so strong_

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The sound of the distant piano made my heart flutter.

I could almost feel the airy breeze of the room tingling inside my head. It was so dazzling yet bitter. It was comforting yet so nostalgic. I knew this chorus so well. It was the exact same chorus that _he_ made.

I continued to waltz the tune with both my eyes closed. I felt as if he was here; beside me, dancing right next to me. The sound of his footsteps, his scent, his gaze, all so _captivating_.

The song had hit its perfect tune when I remembered what he did back then. The exact moment he hit this note. Behind it was a beautiful scenery, a mist garden full of breathtaking flowers, dimmed lanterns clicked behind the curtain of mist, the elegant piano standing by his side, and a radiant angelic fountain filled with glittering water. It was perfect. It was magical. It was too wistful to be forgotten.

"_Do you know how to waltz, Namine?"_

I suddenly felt hot tears slowly streaming down from both of my eyes. The feeling was so genuine, I felt that crying wasn't enough to express my happiness, and sadness. It was uncontrollable.

"_I don't think so." I said with a chuckle._

I tried to compel myself for the sudden urge to break down the large clear windows beside me. My hands started to swing followed by the tune of the waltz. The movement was so fragile, I felt like I want to swim down the ocean of clouds, just to meet him.

"_I will present you a song," his alluring smile made me sure that he was there, with me. _

"_Just for you."_

I closed my eyes. His delicate fingers started to swept away the keys on the grand piano. The way they moved, it was hypnotizing me. Flashes of images started to run in my head. More tears fell on my cheek, but I didn't mind. I felt comforted by it.

"_Sorry," I flushed sheepishly. _

"_Don't worry," he said with his reassuring tone, "I'll guide you."_

The piano seemed to be moving far and far away as I was carried away by my mind.

"_See? You can do it" he gently took my hand and swirled it with his soft hands._

Images of my memories flashed within seconds. I couldn't control it. It just flowed by its own. I want to erase it, but I couldn't. It was traumatizing me.

"_Let's go by that fountain!" his voice was sweet and gentle. _

These tears continued to flow as my head was spinning around. The song had almost reached the end soon.

"_Don't! Namine! Watch out!"_

I shook my head furiously. These memories were haunting me. The one day that I could never forgive myself.

"_His head was severely injured from the crash."_

That voice. It was playing over and over again in my nightmare. Those doctors couldn't make him back. I couldn't do anything to save him.

"_I'm sorry Miss. He can't be saved. We have tried our best."_

The song has hit its last verse already. My legs were trembling as I couldn't even move them.

"_No.. No! You have to bring him back!" I continued my plea while these tears were endlessly streaming in my face. _

I want to cry. I want to hold you. I _want_ your captivating gaze.

"_Roxas!" _

The last note was heard.

I crawled to the floor and banged myself in the head. I wanted to scream at myself, I wanted to punch myself. The echo of my voice was stinging my ears. It wouldn't stop. As if my own voice was telling me, that it was all my fault that Roxas had to end like that. He _didn't_ deserved that. The voice started to whisper one fact that I didn't want to hear; especially from myself.

_I _should deserved that.

Unconsciously, I pulled myself to the piano. The sharpen edge of the piano seemed to call me. It was calling me to touch it, to place it on my pale skin. I began to put my hand under it and pressed it as hard as I could. The ringed sounds of my agony started to haunt me. I was scared, but I had no control of myself.

My sobs wasn't enough to keep me satisfied. I had to do something to repay him. But I didn't know what I should do. I was lost. I had the desire to run, and hide. Run until I couldn't found myself anymore. Run until I could finally forget all of this horrible feelings. Run until it disappeared.

I wanted to escape of all this debt.

Suddenly, my hand felt a rush of liquid. It trembled hard, but I didn't care. I kept scraping it until I saw blood on my own hand. Trickling wet blood and tears seemed to blend and started to flow. I couldn't differentiate which one, but I didn't care. The more it flowed, the more I was satisfied. If this is what it takes to meet Roxas, I will do it.

My blurry vision seemed to worsen every second. The pain was piercing like a sharp blade. The wet tears were there, but I couldn't feel my face anymore. The heat was troubling me. My once paled skin was now a gush of dark red liquid. It was rather gruesome. I wanted this to over, and my mind was screaming to make this stop. But I had no control of it. The pain was starting to disappear; or maybe, I was starting to lose myself.

This is the end. I was ready.

_**Namine.**_

That voice. _His_ scent. His footsteps.

_**I'm here. Don't worry.**_

I didn't know what was going on. All I did know was that voice. It was too familiar for me. My hands were shaking from the impact of what I was doing before, and my body couldn't move. My eyes weren't helping either. I helplessly lay there; searching for his voice.

_Where are you?  
_

My thoughts are howling for his presence. But, his silent chuckle was audible. My mind started to gather my senses back. The voice of him woke me up from this terrible nightmare. I just had to find him in some way.

_**I'm you. I'm in your heart.**_

Just with that, I saw his figure appeared slowly in front of me. That elegant bow tie, that gorgeous tuxedo, his sparkling shoes, his spiky blonde messy hair, his gaze, his _smile_. This is all too familiar. It was the same outfit he wore in that faithful day. I was speechless.

_**You love me, right Namine?**_

Hesistantly, I answered,_ Yeah, of course I am. Why do you even have to ask? I almost cut myself for you. I did all of this for you. I try to live normally, but I just can't. _I paused.

_I need you, Roxas. _

That almost sounded like a plea. I was begging him to return.

_**If you love me, please, stop hurting yourself. **_

_**Forget me.**_

My eyes blinked in disbelief. _You want me to forget you? _

_Do you even think it's possible?_

_**No, but it's worth a try. Find someone else, Nam. Forget me. Live your life happily. **_

I can't forget him. I couldn't in the past, I can't even now, and I don't want to. Memories with him are part of my life. It would be like throwing part of myself away from me.

The Roxas figure in front of me chuckled softly gazing at my bewildered expression.

_**I didn't sacrifice myself just to see you sad, you know.**_

That one statement hit me like a giant boulder. My eyes shot open knowing that he was doing it for me. I knew all along that he wanted me to continue living. I knew he wanted me to be happy. I knew he _loves_ me.

I smiled genuinely knowing that he just saved me again.

_I know. Thanks, Roxas. _

I can't run away from the past. I can't hide my memories. I can't erase them. But I can always renew it with new hopes.

_**That's a relief.**_

He smiled through the mist, with his usual smile. Slowly, I approched him and hugged him. Oh, how I miss his scent, his hair. So many thoughts in my mind that flooded at that time, but my tears was all there is to say it. We stayed like that until I couldn't feel his touch anymore. I felt hot tears landed in my cheek. Either it was mine, or his, I couldn't be exact.

_**I will always be in your heart.**_

I lifted my hands and placed it in front of my chest. I knew Roxas is going to be here with me, every second, every day. He would lift me up and give me new hopes. With that, I gradually picked myself up, and headed out. I knew that as that moment, Roxas will be proud of me, and he could finally rest at peace. His last smile appeared in my head, his last dazzling smile.

_**I love you, Namine.**_

_I love you too._

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_For you, just you__  
Time will always wait  
While I throw away what I can't replace_

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__**Hint:**__ Roxas died because of a car accident. I can't find a place to put that information. So I figure I should put it here._

_That's it. My first angst story! I hope you enjoy this; and thanks for reading! _

_**Please Review!**__ All comments are highly appreciated. It would totally make my day. ;)_


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